The Food
Dumplings filled with minced meat, oily vegetable, pork meat, much fried stuff, chicken organs and legs and a lot of noodles. Rice is only for chumps. It was reported in the news, that a lot of the oil in september 2004 has been pulled back from the shelves because it was “gutter oil”, that means reprocessed oil out of the gutter. Also at the NCTU it has been used. But now, there are no more news about it, so everything is save, I’m very assured. Anyway there are new food scandals every semester, so why spend time worrying. Until now, only children in China died of the cancerous ingredients in food, they said in the news. The dogs in the NCTU canteen are also very relaxed. So I can peacefully study.
The best way to adapt to a new country is to behave like the people there. When the air conditioning is too cold, like always, I will shut my mouth, at the crosswalk I will wait together with other Taiwanese until there are no more cars and I buy everything out of plastic. I buy shoes out of plastic, water bottles out of plastic and clothing out of polyester. Every day I learn Chinese letters until 1 a.m. so I will be able to write Chinese in 10 years. Before the due day of my exercises I will stay up until 7 in the morning. I will not ask critical questions but learn the solution to the exercise sheets by heart. I will transform my strong belly voice into a low nasal tone until I can’t scream anymore. I ignore people asking critical questions. To show my status, I will buy an expensive car and phone. With the latter I will upload food pictures on a social network. #eatingchickenbutt. To not get infected by the yearly bird flue epidemic I will wear a mask at all time. With a mask I can stand in line and even save so much space that I touch the people in front of me and that is still hygienic. The NCTU motivates me to jog one time over the whole campus, which is made for cars, by giving me an ice cream coupon as a reward for it. With that ice cream I can cool my joints afterwards. A friend told me he got hit by a car on the campus, but suing rich people is a no-go and his fracture healed quite ok without any doctor.
The People
They are totally amazed by meeting a white human. I help them to increase their coolness on their favorite social network by letting them take pictures with me at all times. In contrast to their fellow men, or to people that look Asian, they are very nice to me. They treat me much better. We also get a similar interest very quickly: practicing English. The nicest thing about most of Taiwan’s citizen is that they always nod their head even if they do not understand you.
Above all I like their many little 24 hour stores. I do not even have the problem of choosing a new place for diverse food. This and the architecture helps me that I do not miss the look of Hsinchu anywhere in Taiwan. I do not even have to travel if I have seen one road.
Because it was forbidden by my University to drive scooter in Taiwan I walk the whole day next to smoky roads and take the bus to NCTU. I get sleepy from the smog anyway.
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